Friday, August 3, 2012

The Unwritten is WRITTEN

  So I spent a bit of last night reading Vertigo comics The Unwritten by Mike Carey and Peter Gross, before I got distracted by 2012 Olympics and watched that (Men's trampoline. Seriously? That's an actual sport? Might as well put Billiard Ball as an Olympic sport too). But I spent the entire morning today, reading every book in the series that was available and I loved it; probably not as much as I love World War Hulk ('cause that's just a classic) but still, it reaches the near top of my favorite comic book series list.
  The basic plot that this series centers around are three young adults and a flying cat, and they travel through popular classic novels such as Mobey Dick and Frankenstein by using a magic door handle.
  Right, ok.
  You have to read the actual comics to understand that the plot is not as lame as I make it sound. Trust me, because The Unwritten is not a children's book at all. Firstly, The Unwritten is VERY violent and dark; like people get chopped up by sickles, decapitated by thin wires, and little children get slaughtered by falling bricks. And secondly, the amount of swearing in The Unwritten surprises even me. Like Marvel for instance, Uncanny X-Factor is a dark comic series where people rip the skin off each others faces (literally), and yet when it comes to swearing, you only see a couple of rude words that are always blocked over by symbols like @#*$&%. The Unwritten meanwhile, is FILLED with the word fuck, and I mean like everywhere. This is not a complaint since I actually prefer having swear words than not, because I know if I were about to be sat upon by a massive leviathan, I would swear my ass off.
  So yeah, as you can see, not suitable for children....and neither is this review.
The Unwritten #19 Book cover - the one where he gets swallowed by the Leviathan that swallowed Pinocchio

  Ok but my favorite scenes from The Unwritten are those that involve Mr.Bun. Mr.Bun is a rabbit who lives in the woods, and whom seems to be the only one to realize that 'you're [they're] not even real animals. If you [they] were real, Wilfred Weasel would eat Mrs. fucking Matilda mouse without even spitting out the bones'. So, in other words, Mr. Bun is the only one able to think pragmatic human thoughts, while the rest of the animals live the life of Pooh and Piglet in the Hundred Acre Woods. Mr. Bun is an amusing character (I can't quite call him a hilarous character in such a dark story), and as you might've guessed, he swears excessively. The story goes on to show that Mr. Bun tries to kill Miss. Liza (an actual fleshy human), who is responsible for composing this whole imaginary Hundred Acre Wood from a children story. He fails though, and Miss. Liza throws him down a cellar door, where he meets hundreds of other animals just like him (with human feelings) who have been climbing a so called 'stairway to heaven' (heehee Led Zeppelin) for years now, but they never seem to reach the top. It gets seriously depressing from there, and if you want to read The Unwritten I'll stop now so I don't spoil it for you.
  I actually have no idea how Mr. Bun relates to the whole of the story with the three young adults and magic doorknob (Yeah. It'll never stop sounding any lamer), but I guess they'll reveal that in the comic books to come.
(My favorite character Mr.Bun! Swearing his little ass off)

  So The Unwritten, DEFINITELY a book you want to read. The art isn't fantastic, but it suits the purpose and general mood of the book (like I couldn't imagine the artist of X-Factor drawing this). OH and forgot to mention but The Unwritten does have some love in it (I can't call it romance since nothing romantic ever happens. Unless sex is romantic?).
  Well, I need to go and watch Spider-man with friends now (see! I'm not a total social pariah), since it takes ages for an English movie to come on cinemas in China. So bye! but I'll leave you with my favorite quote by Mr Bun:
[An inspirational speech he made to the other animals, while they were walking the stairway to heaven] You've just got to get out of this fucking subbasement, from Hades and into the real world! Booze! Hookers! Opposable thumbs! Who's with me!
  And also a picture of the unfinished Ghost Rider oil painting that Joe's currently drawing:

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